Last night, I went to Barneys New York to visit Gaga’s Workshop. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from the Mother Monster, but I knew it wasn’t going to be the typical scene of Madison and 60th. Here is a brief 30 point account of last night’s events.
- Cops! My car got sirened at. Fuck the police.
- Oh look, there’s Prabal Gurung wearing the Junya fair isle baseball jacket. Gotta cop some Junya at the CO-OP.
- Oh hey, I’m in the elevator now, aren’t we all excited?
- (I hope they have a bathroom in Gaga’s Workshop)
- The door is about to open, I’m definitely intrigued by the workshop. The doors open, drag queen statues everywhere talking at me.
- Hey look! It’s Bryan wearing a onesie and a feathered coat and Wendy who I haven’t seen in a long time! Let’s hang out you guys.
- Oh look, there’s lady Gaga’s face on a cookie! I’m going to eat you, girl.
- (I really need a bathroom)
- (There’s a bathroom on 6!)
- Go upstairs and talk about life with security guard by the bathroom while waiting for elevator. He works the night shift and has to be there till 6:00 am, ouch.
- Back downstairs
- Hey look it’s Leandra! Sweet man, we’re pals now because we did that thing together.
- Let’s get a drink, is there beer?
- No, no beer. I’ll take a gin and tonic then, delicious.
- No alcohol inside the workshop, only in the party room, which I’ve now named “The Champagne Room” and you can’t have sex their either.
- Oh, hello Blake Lively, let me try and lure you over here with this light-up bouncy ball. Why isn’t this working? I’ll just show your assistant. Assistant enjoys my bouncy ball skill.
- This place has everything: stuffed puff little monsters, a confection ring with fingers on it, press on rock nails, studded Michael Jackson gloves, flygrip iphone cases, a tiara for a wedding dress, a candle that cries tears from its eye canals, leather bound children’s books and an arachnid mother-monster.
- Seth Meyers asks, “what’s an arachnid mother-monster?”
- Stefon answers, “it’s that thing where they turn Lady Gaga into a giant spider full of Christmas presents and they explode all over a department store.”
- Moving on, Leandra and I bumped into Danny, he’s wearing the Versace for H&M overcoat, it’s pretty nice actually.
- Brad Walsh from twitter said hi and introduced himself, IRL.
- Whoa! There’s Lady Gaga and she’s wearing a crazy dress that Chanel had custom made for her.
- She’s getting closer, now is my chance to post a photo to facebook and prove that yes, I do have a life. Fuck you, high school!
- She poses with a fan, he is immediately cropped out of my picture.
- Phone dies and I get really pissed about it.
- Leandra tries on Michael Jackson gloves.
- I tell Leandra that I don’t think they’re a wise purchase.
- We go grab another drink, this place is crazy and we talk about stuff like thanksgiving and my house.
- My stomach craves indulgence and my work is calling my name.
- Cheeseburger with onion rings and bacon on it with fries.
So there you have it, my evening in 30 points. If you do have time, you should really check it out. In 6 weeks, the whole thing will be gone and despite some of the wilder items up there, I will be doing plenty of Christmas shopping in Gaga’s Workshop. If you can’t make it up to Madison, you can shop the entire collection on Barneys.com.
Here’s a video of Leandra the Man Repeller and I running amok in the re-launched Barneys CO-OP. Leandra styled some looks for me and I for her. She may not know a lot about menswear but she knew enough to put me in lots of Gant, plaid, Rag & Bone and jeans. Good work Leandra. For all the deets on the CO-OP check out The Window on Barneys.com.
Disclaimer: This was a compensated partnership with Barneys. Regardless, you all know I shop there all the time.
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Steven Alan x Keds, pretty sweet if you ask me. I could see today’s subject wearing these on a boat, Max from Where The Wild Things Are and maybe even Link from Zelda. Anyway, there all $70.00 each which ain’t to shabby. Those super-fancy shoes I bought earlier this summer are toast so these would be a nice mid-summer refresh.
One of the biggest annoyances about shopping in SoHo, or anywhere in the city for that matter, is when you have to go to the bathroom. Usually, I’m at least one cup of coffee deep and that urge comes like clockwork. Too much information? Well, perhaps you’ve never read the book Everybody Poops, we all do it so let’s help each other out here. Since I used to work in SoHo and live so close by, I’ve nailed down plenty of spots to help you out if you’re in a jam. Who knows, it may just save your life. P.S. Click through for the hi-res map.
1. Starbucks, West Broadway & Houston
Expect a wait because every tourist sees the Starbucks logo and thinks, “Yes, bathroom.”
2. The Apple Store, Greene & Prince
Immaculate facilities, rarely a line and a pretty well kept secret. There’s one in the 14th street store too.
3. The Mercer Hotel, Mercer & Prince
Only downside here is that you have to go down into the restaurant and pretend you know where you’re going. But when you gotta go, you’ll do just about anything.
4. The Crosby St. Hotel, Crosby between Spring & Prince
5. Starbucks, Spring & Crosby
Like the one on West Broadway & Houston there is always a line and this one is usually a lot longer. On the upside, it moves faster because there are 2 restrooms.
6. Bloomingdale’s, Crosby between Broome & Spring
You can enter on Broadway too, but if you have to pee the last place on earth you want to be is in a crowd on Broadway in SoHo. Pop right downstairs to the men’s floor, never a wait and the air conditioner is heavenly—BONUS.
7. Le Pain Quotidien, Grand between Greene & Mercer
Sometimes a wait and I’ve gotten the stink-eye for being a freeloader, but it’s a nice option when in need.
8. Starbucks, Broadway between Grand & Broome
Line city and listening to a barista brew up coffee and stuff doesn’t help…better off crossing the street to Bloomingdale’s.
9. Saturdays, Crosby between Grand & Broome
Saturdays has some of the better coffee in SoHo and plenty you’d want to buy if you’re into that whole surfer thing. After answering nature’s call, ponder your life in the garden in the back.
10. SoHo Grand Hotel, West Broadway between Canal & Grand
You’ll have to fight your way through the tourists checking in but up the stairs, through the lobby and you’re in the promised land.
11. Opening Cermony, Howard between Broadway & Crosby
The day I found out Opening Cermony had a bathroom, the skies parted and the angels sang. They’re sort of hidden just before the staircase going to that lofted space.
12. The Mondrian Hotel, Crosby between Howard & Grand
If you feel like going to the bathroom in a Dr. Seuss meets people who have way more money than you enviornment, this is the place!
Of course, this is by no means an exhaustive list but most of my go-tos are here and it’s not even the whole ‘hood. Got something to add? Leave it in the comments.
It’s a rainy, kind of weird Saturday so I took to the interwebs and visited some of my old retail friends. As per usual, I floated over to Jack Spade who I’ve sorely neglected these past few weeks since I started the new job. Of course, now that I no longer enjoy an employee discount, it’s not so easy to grab a few things here and there. Nevertheless, look at this stuff…at long last Aaron Levine’s (formerly of Rogues Gallery) product has hit the store and if I weren’t moving in a week, I’d blow every last cent on it. Of course it should be noted that the leather goods and bags are the work of their talented bag designer, Britt Kleinman. She owns.
1. Icon Printed Banker’s Envelope, $250
2. Selima Menrad Sunglasses, $325
3. Pet Rock Bill Holder, $175
4. Industrial Canvas Dipped Coal Tote, $195
5. Border Stripe Sweater, $195
6. James Gingham Shirt, $165