Countess Bathory was a serious woman. She ran one of the wealthiest family’s in ye olde Hungary, was a devoted mother, clothes horse and serial killer. How ever did she manage it all? Such a modern woman. Of course, time weighs on us all and it weighed particularly heavy on our dear countess. As she grew older, she became obsessed with beauty and maintaining a youthful visage. Perhaps it was madness that lead her to believe that bathing in the blood of young virgin girls would keep her skin soft and attractive, or maybe it was old folklore, or maybe dogs told her. In any event, she turned her castle into a torture chamber—wandering virgins who wandered too close got the axe. The bloodthirsty countess even had a special cage installed as not to waste any of her precious facewash. Now, before I throw her under the bus again, it should be noted that her guilt is still questioned. In that time, a powerful widow was not something powerful men liked to suffer and it has been said that she was merely a pawn in a bigger play for power. Whether she committed the murders or not, she was sentenced to spend the end of her days bricked up in a suite of rooms at her castle. Ouch.
1. Maybe she’s born with it…maybe it’s virgin blood.
Top by Marc Jacobs, skirt by Elie Saab, shoes by Lanvin
2. Because I’m worth it.
Dress by Azzedine Alaia
3. I feel pretty, oh so pretty.
Coat by Proenza Schouler, dress by Alexander McQueen, tights and shoes by Prabal Gurung
Hey, that rhymes. Ever read Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events? Well, Violet is one of the main characters and along with her brother and infant sister, she deals with, well, a lot of unfortunate events. There are leeches, evil troupes of actors, devilish counts and friendly deadly vipers. Yeah, it’s pretty much like working at a fashionable fashion magazine of fashions (badumpshhhhh, kidding). Violet’s main claim to fame is that she is an inventor and can quickly solve problems. Anyway, she’s got a Wednesday Addams meets Elizabeth Bennet vibe, which is cool—and spot on for the fall collections.
1. Well, this is a fucking unfortunate event we’re in.
Dress & tights by Marc Jacobs, coat by Marni, shoes by Lanvin
2. I can invent ANYTHING
Coat by Prabal Gurung, shirt by Tory Burch, pants by Proenza Schouler, boots by Gucci
3. I don’t want to be a child bride of Count Olaf
Coat by Rachel Comey, dress by Stella McCartney, shoes by Burberry Prorsum
Somebody left a suggestion to post Antigone, daughter of Oedipus and Jocasta from the incestuous Greek tragedy Oedipus. But, Oedipus was a little heavy for a Wednesday morning, wouldn’t you say? For those readers who haven’t hit Greek mythology in their required high school reading, just you wait—it’s awesome. As a compromise for this suggestion, I’m posting Calliope, one of the eight muses. She’s the muse of epic poetry and most famous for being the inspiration behind The Odyssey. Well, if you’re going to inspire some of the greatest stories of all time…you better have the style to back it up, can I get some Proenza up in here? Yes, yes I can.
1. Whatever, I’m hooking up with Ares
Dress by Tsumori Chisato, shoes by Rodarte
2. Homer, you should write a book about like, a guy, who like, can’t get home
Dress by Louis Vuitton, shoes by Emilio Pucci
3. Ugh, none of the other muses are on tumblr, they’re so 2000-and-late.
Dress by Proenza Schouler, shoes by Prada
Shop Calliope’s Look:
Since you all loved Sandy, I thought I’d take a stab at ChaCha. Who could forget how she stole the spotlight from Sandy at the National Bandstand competition, or that crazy dress she wore. Alas, I could not find a dress to match her light blue on black with crazy ruffles and fishnet ensemble.
1. Riding in the wannabe Greased Lightning with the Evil Danny Zukko
Jacket by Burberry Prorsum, top by Proenza Schouler, pants by Balmain, boots by Isabel Marant
2. “They call me ChaCha, ‘cause I’m the best dancer at St. Bernadette’s”
Dress by Emilio Pucci, shoes by Calvin Klein
3. Thunder Road!
Dress by Calvin Klein, vest by Balenciaga, shoes by Haider Ackermann