Well, this post has been a long time coming. There have been a lot of requests for Cinderella but I’ve been avoiding it because it’s so, it’s so Disney. Disney is wonderful when you’re a kid, but they actually take classic stories and saccharine-ize them so much that they’re not nearly as entertaining as they should be. For example, the near-murderess Little Mermaid and the almost cooked to death Sleeping Beauty. The original telling of Cinderella is actually quite tame. Let’s fast forward to the evil stepmother. Lose the fairy godmother and throw in a tree growing from her mother’s grave, planted from a branch that once hit her father in the face. See what I mean? Trippy. The young Cinderella prays to the tree and it grants her beautiful gold dresses to go to the festivals at the palace where nobody recognizes her when she isn’t in rags. The final night of the festival, the prince puts some super glue on the stairs and her golden shoes stick, enabling him to track down the one he loves. He finds his way to the home of Cinderella. The wicked stepmother instructs her elder daughter to cut off her toe to make the shoe fit, but a bird on the magical tree whispers to the prince that he’s being fooled. The younger daughter hacks off her ankle, but her bloody shoe gives her away. Finally, Cinderella is united with the prince…but it’s not over. In hopes of royal favor, the stepsisters attend the wedding and the birds from the magical tree peck out their eyes, leaving them blind beggars forever. That’s awesome.
1. Listening to Wilson Phillips while cleaning the house
Dress by Rodarte, coat by Celine, shoes by Derek Lam
2. Tree, I need a gold dress.
Dress by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Miu Miu
3. Tree, I need an even better gold dress with gold shoes.
Dress by Jason Wu, shoes by Lanvin
Revision: It’s not actually the tree that gives her the dresses, it’s a magical bird. Thanks for the info, queenofwolves!
Folk tales and Fairy tales aren’t what they used to be, I suppose we have Disney to thank for that. The original stories, as I’ve said time and time again, are for more entertaining. One of my favorites is the tale of Bluebeard. Bluebeard was an enormously wealthy man feared for his ugliness and blue beard and because his wives seemed to all mysteriously disappear. Intent on marrying again, he visited a neighbor to petition for one of their daughters to be his bride. The girls desist but after the younger sister agrees to attend an impressive banquet at his home, she marries him. Shortly after they’re married, Bluebeard leaves the castle on business (or something) and gives his new bride all the keys and instructs her to spend as she wishes, entertain as she likes and generally have a good time. Before heading out he tells her not to unlock a room in the dungeon with a certain key. Naturally, the girl can’t resist and with her sister is horrified to find the bloodied corpses of his former wives in the room. She drops the key in a pool of blood and in an oh-so-macbeth fashion, the stain will not come off the key. HORROR! HOMEGIRL IS GONNA GET TROLLED. When her husband suddenly returns and finds the tell tale key, he threatens to behead for her insolence but she bargains for time to pray before her death. The sisters lock themselves in the highest room of the tallest tower (as per usual) in an attempt to escape. Sidenote: what is it about the tallest tower that screams “freedom?” Moving on, just before Bluebeard murders the pair, their brothers come in and rescue them in heroic style and then they all live off Bluebeard’s money. So, the moral of the story is—don’t trust people with beards. Thanks, here’s the younger sister, bye.
1. Psh, I don’t wanna marry that guy…
Coat by Tsumori Chisato, shoes by Miu Miu
2. But, he put on a nice spread so I’ll just marry him
Dress by Temperley London, shoes by Alexander McQueen
3. This party seems like a perfect time to find a torture chamber
Dress by Prada, shoes and tights by Jason Wu
So…we all know the Disney version of The Little Mermaid but I find the original version much more interesting. Actually, when it comes to fairy tales, the original is almost always better and way weirder. Anywho, the Disney version veers off after Ariel (if that is her real name) rescues the prince. The traditional telling has her drop him off at a temple until a girl comes and finds him. The mermaid is in love with the prince (riighhhht) so she sells her tongue to the sea witch for legs. Her new legs are so great they feel like stepping on knives every time she walks. Lucky for her the prince starts falling for her and LOVES to see her dance. Painful, right? In the end, the prince goes for the girl who rescued him at the temple and coincidentally enough, she’s a princess. YAAAAY! Now the mermaid has no soul because only the prince could give her a soul by marrying her…hmmmm. So, to exact revenge her sisters sell their hair for a dagger. If the mermaid stabs the prince and lets his blood drip on her feet she can return and be a mermaid. Weakling that she is she couldn’t bring herself to do it and threw herself off a cliff into the sea. WHAT?!
1. Look, I have legs now.
Dress by Nina Ricci, shoes by Aquilano Rimondi
2. Please don’t make me dance…
Dress by Dolce and Gabbana, jacket by Aquilano Rimondi, shoes by Alexander Mcqueen
3. I’ll just jump off this cliff now
Dress by Akris, shoes by Diane von Furstenberg
All images from Vogue.