How do you even begin to describe Anne Boleyn? She has two fendi purses and a silver Lexus. Okay, perhaps not, but one has to admit, Anne Boleyn certainly knew what she was doing when she captured the heart (or at least 1/6 of it) of King Henry VIII. We all know how his marriages faired and sometimes you can’t help but feel sorry for the poor bastard, but once you get that divorce/beheading bug, you just can’t stop. Of all his wives, I venture to say that Anne was the most famous, she was sort of the spark that set off to the powder keg. King Henry was married to the devout Catherine of Aragon from Spain. He grew tired of Catherine, despite their daughter Mary, who you may remember from such historical blunders as “Let’s kill all the protestants!” It was around this time that the Boleyn family came to court from France and after having a go with her sister, the King’s eye fell on Anne and before you know it, his royal highness broke it off with Caterine, started a new church and made Anne his queen. Then yada yada yada, she got locked in the tower on charges of infidelity, incest and treason most foul.
1. I’m gonna get me a King!
Fur by Yves Saint Lauren, dress by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Lanvin
2. I did it, now I’m the Queen, hooray!
Dress and shoes by Alexander McQueen
3. Why am I locked in the tower, what are all these axes for?
Sweater by Temperley London, dress by Rodarte, boots by Prada
Hey, that rhymes. Ever read Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events? Well, Violet is one of the main characters and along with her brother and infant sister, she deals with, well, a lot of unfortunate events. There are leeches, evil troupes of actors, devilish counts and friendly deadly vipers. Yeah, it’s pretty much like working at a fashionable fashion magazine of fashions (badumpshhhhh, kidding). Violet’s main claim to fame is that she is an inventor and can quickly solve problems. Anyway, she’s got a Wednesday Addams meets Elizabeth Bennet vibe, which is cool—and spot on for the fall collections.
1. Well, this is a fucking unfortunate event we’re in.
Dress & tights by Marc Jacobs, coat by Marni, shoes by Lanvin
2. I can invent ANYTHING
Coat by Prabal Gurung, shirt by Tory Burch, pants by Proenza Schouler, boots by Gucci
3. I don’t want to be a child bride of Count Olaf
Coat by Rachel Comey, dress by Stella McCartney, shoes by Burberry Prorsum
Well, this post has been a long time coming. There have been a lot of requests for Cinderella but I’ve been avoiding it because it’s so, it’s so Disney. Disney is wonderful when you’re a kid, but they actually take classic stories and saccharine-ize them so much that they’re not nearly as entertaining as they should be. For example, the near-murderess Little Mermaid and the almost cooked to death Sleeping Beauty. The original telling of Cinderella is actually quite tame. Let’s fast forward to the evil stepmother. Lose the fairy godmother and throw in a tree growing from her mother’s grave, planted from a branch that once hit her father in the face. See what I mean? Trippy. The young Cinderella prays to the tree and it grants her beautiful gold dresses to go to the festivals at the palace where nobody recognizes her when she isn’t in rags. The final night of the festival, the prince puts some super glue on the stairs and her golden shoes stick, enabling him to track down the one he loves. He finds his way to the home of Cinderella. The wicked stepmother instructs her elder daughter to cut off her toe to make the shoe fit, but a bird on the magical tree whispers to the prince that he’s being fooled. The younger daughter hacks off her ankle, but her bloody shoe gives her away. Finally, Cinderella is united with the prince…but it’s not over. In hopes of royal favor, the stepsisters attend the wedding and the birds from the magical tree peck out their eyes, leaving them blind beggars forever. That’s awesome.
1. Listening to Wilson Phillips while cleaning the house
Dress by Rodarte, coat by Celine, shoes by Derek Lam
2. Tree, I need a gold dress.
Dress by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Miu Miu
3. Tree, I need an even better gold dress with gold shoes.
Dress by Jason Wu, shoes by Lanvin
Revision: It’s not actually the tree that gives her the dresses, it’s a magical bird. Thanks for the info, queenofwolves!
If you’ve been keeping up with my personal blog and my tweets then you probably understand that I have a deep love for The Eagles. How could you not? There’s so much to love—Hotel California, Heartache Tonight, Desperado, Lyin’ Eyes, Peaceful Easy Feeling and of course Witchy Woman or in Seinfeld talk Witchaaay Woman. Of course, all music is subjective and Witchy Woman is about everybody’s particular dream woman. My Witchy Woman is different from your Witchy Woman. Not to say that the above is mine, but you get the idea. For this post I went with a little more of a literal understanding of the song and went after a hexing vibe. Enjoy it. Don’t forget to listen to the song below.
1. Raven hair
Dress by Gucci, shoes by Emilio Pucci
2. Ruby lips
Cape by Lanvin, dress by Meadham Kirchoff, shoes and tights by Prabal Gurung
3. Sparks fly from her fingertipssss
Dress by Prabal Gurung, boots by Rodarte
Don’t mind the AWFUL music video below, enjoy the song…
Fair warning to you all, now that The Borgias has started on Showtime I’ll probably be rediscovering my love for Italian Renaissance history. I’ve done a few before, Catherine Medici is around here somewhere but anyway, I digress. The Borgia family is notorious for their corruption and power plays in Rome during the late 1400’s. The patriarch of the family famously bought his Papal throne at the Vatican and played his family accordingly. Of course, for any young woman in a powerful family was used as a token of alliance by marriage. Enter Lucrezia Borgia who married into another powerful Catholic family and then another and then another, all surrounded by a little mystery. There are very few surviving portraits of the Borgia heiress but she was allegedly quite beautiful, cunning and at one time as corrupt as the rest of her family. Although, as she became older and raised her children her image did clean up a bit. But I dare to say she was far from angelic. By today’s standards she’d be you know, totally normal. Not sure why I put her in all black but damn she fine.
1. “I don’t think my father, the guardian of the Catholic faith, would be too pleased to hear about this”
Dress by Alberta Feretti, shoes by Bottega Veneta
2. “You know who’s looking fine tonight?” “Cesare Borgia” “Okay, you did not just say that, he is your brother” “What? He’s a good kisser.”
Dress by Emilio Pucci, coat by Fendi, shoes by Lanvin
3. “She has two painted portraits and a silver carriage”
Dress by Versace, shoes by Gucci
Weird how relevant Mean Girls is to her. Ha.