WHAT WOULD CINDERELLA WEAR?
Well, this post has been a long time coming. There have been a lot of requests for Cinderella but I’ve been avoiding it because it’s so, it’s so Disney. Disney is wonderful when you’re a kid, but they actually take classic stories and saccharine-ize them so much that they’re not nearly as entertaining as they should be. For example, the near-murderess Little Mermaid and the almost cooked to death Sleeping Beauty. The original telling of Cinderella is actually quite tame. Let’s fast forward to the evil stepmother. Lose the fairy godmother and throw in a tree growing from her mother’s grave, planted from a branch that once hit her father in the face. See what I mean? Trippy. The young Cinderella prays to the tree and it grants her beautiful gold dresses to go to the festivals at the palace where nobody recognizes her when she isn’t in rags. The final night of the festival, the prince puts some super glue on the stairs and her golden shoes stick, enabling him to track down the one he loves. He finds his way to the home of Cinderella. The wicked stepmother instructs her elder daughter to cut off her toe to make the shoe fit, but a bird on the magical tree whispers to the prince that he’s being fooled. The younger daughter hacks off her ankle, but her bloody shoe gives her away. Finally, Cinderella is united with the prince…but it’s not over. In hopes of royal favor, the stepsisters attend the wedding and the birds from the magical tree peck out their eyes, leaving them blind beggars forever. That’s awesome.
1. Listening to Wilson Phillips while cleaning the house
Dress by Rodarte, coat by Celine, shoes by Derek Lam
2. Tree, I need a gold dress.
Dress by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Miu Miu
3. Tree, I need an even better gold dress with gold shoes.
Dress by Jason Wu, shoes by Lanvin
Revision: It’s not actually the tree that gives her the dresses, it’s a magical bird. Thanks for the info, queenofwolves!
BLUEBEARD’S BRIDE, BLUEBEARD
Folk tales and Fairy tales aren’t what they used to be, I suppose we have Disney to thank for that. The original stories, as I’ve said time and time again, are for more entertaining. One of my favorites is the tale of Bluebeard. Bluebeard was an enormously wealthy man feared for his ugliness and blue beard and because his wives seemed to all mysteriously disappear. Intent on marrying again, he visited a neighbor to petition for one of their daughters to be his bride. The girls desist but after the younger sister agrees to attend an impressive banquet at his home, she marries him. Shortly after they’re married, Bluebeard leaves the castle on business (or something) and gives his new bride all the keys and instructs her to spend as she wishes, entertain as she likes and generally have a good time. Before heading out he tells her not to unlock a room in the dungeon with a certain key. Naturally, the girl can’t resist and with her sister is horrified to find the bloodied corpses of his former wives in the room. She drops the key in a pool of blood and in an oh-so-macbeth fashion, the stain will not come off the key. HORROR! HOMEGIRL IS GONNA GET TROLLED. When her husband suddenly returns and finds the tell tale key, he threatens to behead for her insolence but she bargains for time to pray before her death. The sisters lock themselves in the highest room of the tallest tower (as per usual) in an attempt to escape. Sidenote: what is it about the tallest tower that screams “freedom?” Moving on, just before Bluebeard murders the pair, their brothers come in and rescue them in heroic style and then they all live off Bluebeard’s money. So, the moral of the story is—don’t trust people with beards. Thanks, here’s the younger sister, bye.
1. Psh, I don’t wanna marry that guy…
Coat by Tsumori Chisato, shoes by Miu Miu
2. But, he put on a nice spread so I’ll just marry him
Dress by Temperley London, shoes by Alexander McQueen
3. This party seems like a perfect time to find a torture chamber
Dress by Prada, shoes and tights by Jason Wu
CRUELLA DEVILLE, 101 DALMATIANS
Do you know who HATES Cruella Deville? PETA, that’s who. Spending her days designing for her swanky label, House of Deville and spending her nights killing puppies, she’s one of the meanest villains around. Yet, despite her obvious animal cruelty issues, she has impeccable style. I can’t condone the killing of dalmatian puppies and everybody has their own preference on fur but hot damn, she’s an eccentric dresser.
1. “Now go and stand somewhere until I need you.”
Coat by Oscar de la Renta, dress and tights by Jason Wu, shoes by Thakoon
2. “I’ve seen more intelligent pieces of carpet.”
Coat by Prabal Gurung, dress and shoes by Proenza Schouler
3. “Congratulations. You three have just won the Gold, Silver and Bronze in the Morons Olympics.”
Coat by Gucci, dress by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Marc Jacobs
All images c/o VOGUE UK.
ELIZABETH BENNET, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE…AGAIN
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Lizzy Bennet of Pride and Prejudice is like the coolest girl in school. She’s nice, she’s pretty but not in annoying way and she’s impossibly fair and grounded. If only more girls out there would take a page from her book, le sigh. Sure, she’s a little bit of a country bumpkin, but it’s not like she’s Sarah plain and tall. If there was one woman from literature I’d grab some coffee with, it’d probably be her. JUST SAYING. Enjoy!
1. The is Meryton, it’s a friendly place
Dress by Erdem, jacket by Jason Wu, shoes by Jonathan Saunders
2. Mr. Darcy, what’s your deal? Wait, let’s get married…
Dress and shoes by Oscar de la Renta (duhhh)
3. Of course Lydia is hooking up with Wickham, OF COURSE SHE IS.
Shorts by Marc Jacobs, top by Proenza Schouler, shoes by Paul Smith
So any suggestions for the next character post? I’d love to hear.
All images from Vogue UK.
HERMIONE GRANGER, HARRY POTTER WEEK
As you well know, I am a huge fan of the Harry Potter books & films. With the impending release of Deathly Hallows, I’ve decided to dedicate this week to our favorite Harry Potter characters. Many of them have made appearances before, including my all time favorite post, Luna Lovegood. Today, I tried my hand at Hermione Granger. Hermione was exceedingly difficult because the runways of Paris, Milan, London and New York don’t really cater to the denim and striped sweater wearing Witch we’ve all come to love. So imagine this as a “high fashion Hermione,” lame I know but whatever. Enjoy.
1. “We’ve looked a hundred times!” “Not in the restricted section…”
Suit by Proenza Schouler, coat and clutch by Michael Kors, shoes by Dries Van Noten
2. “Is that Hermione Granger? With Viktor Krum?”
Dress by Jason Wu, shoes by Nina Ricci
3. Casting a Confundus Charm on Cormac at Quidditch Trials
Coat by Derek Lam, dress by Jonathan Saunders, shoes by Paul Smith
Any suggestions for the next character?
All images from Vogue UK.
