MRS. REED, JANE EYRE
Oh, she’s one nasty bitch that Mrs. Reed. As you’ll recall from your high school lit classes, Jane Eyre was Mrs. Reed’s niece and Mr. Reed charged his wife with raising her after his death. Being the god-fearing woman she was, Mrs. Reed obliged. She and her three children tormented poor Jane—throwing books at her, locking her in supposed haunted rooms and basically ruining her life. Eventually Mrs. Reed sent Jane to the Lowood school for some more torture with a religious twist. She was the HBIC of Gateshead and she sucks. When Jane grew older, they made some kind of peace…even after Mrs. Reed told Jane’s only family that she was dead. Good lord.
1. Um, Jane, I hate you.
Coat by Dries Van Noten, dress by Donna Karan, shoes by Bottega Veneta
2. Children, I hate Jane.
Dress by Chloe, coat by Celine, shoes by Fendi
3. I’m on an all carb diet, god Karen you are so stupid.
Coat by Marni, pants by Gucci, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo
CRUELLA DEVILLE, 101 DALMATIANS
Do you know who HATES Cruella Deville? PETA, that’s who. Spending her days designing for her swanky label, House of Deville and spending her nights killing puppies, she’s one of the meanest villains around. Yet, despite her obvious animal cruelty issues, she has impeccable style. I can’t condone the killing of dalmatian puppies and everybody has their own preference on fur but hot damn, she’s an eccentric dresser.
1. “Now go and stand somewhere until I need you.”
Coat by Oscar de la Renta, dress and tights by Jason Wu, shoes by Thakoon
2. “I’ve seen more intelligent pieces of carpet.”
Coat by Prabal Gurung, dress and shoes by Proenza Schouler
3. “Congratulations. You three have just won the Gold, Silver and Bronze in the Morons Olympics.”
Coat by Gucci, dress by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Marc Jacobs
All images c/o VOGUE UK.
UNDINE
AHOY! Below is an e-mail I got from a reader/friend yesterday. I laughed, so it’s the subject of today’s post. p.s. e-mails are always welcome (john.jannuzzi@gmail.com)
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Was just reading your textbook post on the Little Mermaid, and thought you should look at Undine by Friedrich de la Motte Fouqué. It’s pretty twisted.
This water sprite girl (Undine) is raised by two old people all alone in seclusion until a knight who is scared by ghosts in the forests finds her. The knight falls in love and they get married. Cool, cause now she has a soul. Apparently she didn’t before? Hard to say. Then he takes her back to the city where the rich girl he was supposed to marry is royally pissed off and is all like bitch, I can’t believe you married some water sloot instead of me. Cat fight ensues. Well guess what? That girl is actually the two old people’s real daughter and she was switched with Undine as a baby. Woah. So she’s upset because she was super rich and now she has to go to her poor real parents and she is still single. Eff. Undine feels bad is all like no, cmon you can come with us to the castle. Mistake. Because of course the knight and the other girl totally have sex and Undine is betrayed. She ends up (for reasons I can’t quite remember) being obligated to stab the knight to death with some coral. Then she is so sad about what she did, she turns into a river that circles his grave forever.
I don’t know, I just feel like she could be wearing some pretty cool things.
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1. I’m just a poor sprite from a poor family
Skirt by Jonathan Saunders, shirt by Derek Lam, shoes by Peter Pilotto
2. Now I’m a princess, yaaay
Dress by Peter Pilotto, shoes by Gucci
3. I’ll cut a bitch
Dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Meadham Kirchoff
All images from Vogue.
gucci a/w 2010
thoughts: here’s my thing with gucci, a lot of these pieces look like they could’ve come straight out of prada’s show. but as far as i’m concerned, the more camel peacoats and officer’s coats there are in the world…the better. aside from the pictured pieces gucci showed typical euro styling in the cuts (completely not my scene) and it was overall a very desirable and wearable collection. my favorite is the cardigan in 3, if only they’d shorten it…i can’t in good faith wear a jacket over that without feeling like a hoop skirted lady in medieval england…too bad.
