MRS. REED, JANE EYRE
Oh, she’s one nasty bitch that Mrs. Reed. As you’ll recall from your high school lit classes, Jane Eyre was Mrs. Reed’s niece and Mr. Reed charged his wife with raising her after his death. Being the god-fearing woman she was, Mrs. Reed obliged. She and her three children tormented poor Jane—throwing books at her, locking her in supposed haunted rooms and basically ruining her life. Eventually Mrs. Reed sent Jane to the Lowood school for some more torture with a religious twist. She was the HBIC of Gateshead and she sucks. When Jane grew older, they made some kind of peace…even after Mrs. Reed told Jane’s only family that she was dead. Good lord.
1. Um, Jane, I hate you.
Coat by Dries Van Noten, dress by Donna Karan, shoes by Bottega Veneta
2. Children, I hate Jane.
Dress by Chloe, coat by Celine, shoes by Fendi
3. I’m on an all carb diet, god Karen you are so stupid.
Coat by Marni, pants by Gucci, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo
KING HENRY VIII, ENGLAND
What do you get the man that has everything? A wife, and after that, another! It’s everybody’s favorite royal heretic, King Henry VIII! You may remember him from such classes as World History I and AP European history. King Henry was most famous for his failed marriages, first to the Catholic Catherine of Aragon, then to Anne Boleyn, then to Jane Seymour, then to Anne of Cleves, then Catherine Howard and finally to Catherine Parr. Oh what craziness. You might ask, how could one have all of these different wives? Death helped a little bit, but Henry also famously broke from the Vatican and became head of the church. Basically, he could do whatever he wanted. Steez.
1. I’m currently on my 3rd wife
Coat by Alexis Mabille, sweater and shirt by Bottega Veneta, pants by Louis Vuitton, shoes by Paul Smith
2. On the hunt, for a wife
Coat by Corneliani, sweater and shirt by Rag & Bone, pants by Junya Watanabe, shoes by Thom Browne
3. To the tower with you, wife.
Coat by Burberry Prorsum, suit by Canali
JAY GATBSY, THE GREAT GATSBY
In a recent discussion at the office, we were going over our favorite books from high school. All the usuals made their appearances, Catcher in the Rye, Pride and Prejudice, A Separate Peace, Of Mice and Men and of course The Great Gatsby. I’ve posted Jay Gatsby before and Daisy twice but thought I’d take another look with the new collections. The brief rundown is—Gatsby is rich and has a crazy love affair with Daisy, but Daisy is a greedy trollop who only cares about status. Gatsby dies and despite their love for each other, that bitch doesn’t even show up to his funeral. Good god woman, have some respect. In the crazy Jazz age of East and West Egg, there were some great parties and plenty of money floating around, so you’d best believe Gatsby had some good style or…steez.
1. What’s up Daisy, look at my designer jeans…yah, a lot has changed since high school.
Coat and scarf by Corneliani, cardigan, shirt and tie by Canali, jeans by Junya Watanabe, boots by Paul Smith
2. Daisy, you just killed that woman! (edited from man, i read the book over 10 years ago, gimme a break)
Coat by Rag & Bone, pants by Salvatore Ferragamo, shirt by Junya Watanabe, cardigan by Billy Reid, shoes by Hermes
3. This party SUCKS, but at least I look AWESOME
Coat by Thom Browne, suit and shoes by Yves Saint Laurent
NICKELSON WOOSTER, TEXTBOOK FOR FASHIONISTA
I hope you’ve been enjoying the Fashionista posts lately. It’s high time I did a post on some of the men that run this crazy industry. Following up on the Linda Fargo post from last week, we’re doing Nickelson Wooster tomorrow. Stay tuned, I’m excited.
ESTELLA HAVISHAM, GREAT EXPECTATIONS
Following up on the Ms. Havisham post from the days of yore, here is her adopted daughter Estella. I don’t really know what to make of Estella. As a man, I hate her for how she treated Pip and his peers. However, she was raised to torture men and was essentially a pawn in Ms. Havisham’s plot for revenge. You almost have to pity her, she was doomed from the get-go. On a more humorous note, when considering this post I thought she’d have to be everything that The Man Repeller is not. Having been raised to win men’s hearts only to leave their love unrequited is not an easy task. In the words of The Man Repeller this work would require “Man Getter” style clothing.
1. Hello, Pip.
Coat by Marni, dress by Aquilano Rimondi, shoes by Jonathan Saunders
2. Marrying for Money
Dress by Jason Wu
3. Heartbreaker (to the tune of Pat Benatar)
Dress by Bottega Veneta, shoes by Gucci
All images c/o VOGUE UK.
Thank you for the suggestion, Dark Lamb. Have somebody you’d like to see? Let me know.
