WHAT WOULD ELEANOR OF AQUITANE WEAR?
Hello Textbook people, I’m glad to be back, work has been crazy lately but hey, it pays my bills. Here we have Eleanor of Aquitane, basically the most bitchin’ badass woman of medieval times. Eleanor was a highly educated, strong willed and fiercely political. When she was 15, she became Queen of France and traveled to fight in the second crusade. Yup, she fought in the crusades, good for her. After the crusade, she divorced her husband and married King Henry of England and had a rather unhappy marriage. Eight kids later, the couple was estranged and Eleanor sort of ran her own show and set up a salon called “The Court of Love” where the brightest minds of the age discussed love, marriage and duty. One of her sons chose to rebel against her husband and her support found her in prison for 16 years but she was set free after Henry died. She’s also widely acknowledged to be one of the most beautiful women ever. Badass.
1. Queen of France
Coat by Celine, dress by Marc Jacobs, boots by Prada
2. I’m in the crusades, yo!
Cape by Jean Paul Gaultier, dress by Alexander McQueen, boots by Dries Van Noten
3. Oh great, I’m in prison
Coat by Vera Wang, dress by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Lanvin
What Would Dorian Gray Wear?
I’m a little rusty on Dorian Gray, so forgive any errors up in this piece. It centers on the idea of selling your soul, or exchanging it for something. It’s a common theme, I believe it was first seen in Faust or Faustus. The protagonist sells his soul for a life he thinks would be better. Things go on and he lives a fantastic, pleasure-seeking life and then goes to Hell. Yay, Hell! Of course, this theme is everywhere from Billy Joel to Elizabeth Hurley and to Dorian Gray. In Dorian Gray, the lead trades a normal life for an eternal youth. Through the influence of others he lives a hedonistic life. It must be tough to have tons of sex and be really really ridiculously good looking. Trouble is, as Dorian’s sins mount, his true self is revealed in the portrait. His once handsome image is ravaged by his actions. Slowly, he comes to see that his life is a farce, a farce I say! However, despite his attempts at repenting and redemption, he couldn’t change it back. Frustrated with rage, he stabs the painting, killing himself and restoring the original work. Heavy shit.
1. Wow, I am so damn good looking, everybody thinks so. Like OMG, look at me.
Jacket by Roland Mouret, shirt and scarf by Maison Martin Margiela, pants by Prada, shoes by Acne
2. Hold on, I gotta sit for this portrait yo.
Suit by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Paul Smith
3. Stop looking at me, portrait Dorian!
Jacket by Salvatore Ferragamo, sweater by Maison Martin Margiela, pants by Bottega Veneta, shoes by Dries van Noten
CARMEN, CARMEN
Hey look, a post. My apologies for the absence as of late, but then again I have no obligation to do this so apology revoked. Meh. Thanks for all the great suggestions the other day which included Carmen from the famous opera, Carmen. It’s a little bit complicated but let me give you the quick version. Carmen is a gypsy who works in a cigarette factory (DREAM JOB) and falls in love with Jose. Some craziness ensues after she stabs her coworker and they escape with some bandits. But, wouldn’t you know it, Carmen falls out of love with Jose and in love with another dude. Some time later, after some things happen, Jose pleads once more with Carmen to spend her life with him. She says no, and when she goes to check her tumblr he kills her. Oh, what a life. While we’re on the subject of Carmen, I highly suggest you listen to the famous Habanera…it’ll set your Wednesday off right.
1. I work in a cigarette factory, look at me!
Skirt by Bottega Veneta, shirt by Dries van Noten, shoes by Emilio Pucci
2. JOSE! MI AMOR!
Dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Chloe
3. JOSE! I HATE YOU.
Dress by Aquilano Rimondi, shoes by Celine
MRS. REED, JANE EYRE
Oh, she’s one nasty bitch that Mrs. Reed. As you’ll recall from your high school lit classes, Jane Eyre was Mrs. Reed’s niece and Mr. Reed charged his wife with raising her after his death. Being the god-fearing woman she was, Mrs. Reed obliged. She and her three children tormented poor Jane—throwing books at her, locking her in supposed haunted rooms and basically ruining her life. Eventually Mrs. Reed sent Jane to the Lowood school for some more torture with a religious twist. She was the HBIC of Gateshead and she sucks. When Jane grew older, they made some kind of peace…even after Mrs. Reed told Jane’s only family that she was dead. Good lord.
1. Um, Jane, I hate you.
Coat by Dries Van Noten, dress by Donna Karan, shoes by Bottega Veneta
2. Children, I hate Jane.
Dress by Chloe, coat by Celine, shoes by Fendi
3. I’m on an all carb diet, god Karen you are so stupid.
Coat by Marni, pants by Gucci, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo
SWEENEY TODD, SWEENEY TODD
A long time ago I said I was going to start doing more menswear posts. I haven’t really lived up to that, so here’s my way of making it up to you. Recently I found a new place to get much better images of menswear so the quality issue I was having is fixed, huzzah. Over the weekend somebody left a message in my ask box to do Mrs. Lovett and Sweeney Todd. I love the story and can’t believe I didn’t think of it before. For those who need a refresh—Sweeney Todd is the story of Benjamin Barker the barber and his twisted revenge lust. After a wicked judge’s eye falls on his wife and he is banished for crimes he didn’t commit, he returns to London to get his life back. As fate would have it, his shop is now above Mrs. Lovett’s meat pies. Mrs. Lovett welcomes him back and informs him of his wife’s death at the hands of the evil judge and the whereabouts of . Long story short—lots of people die when they go to get a shave. Awesome.
1. Barker is back in town
Coat, sweater and scarf by John Varvatos, shirt by Louis Vuitton, shoes by Burberry Prorsum
2. Joannanaaaaaa
Coat by Burberry Prorsum, shirt by Neil Barrett, vest by Givenchy, pants by Alexis Mabille, shoes by Dries Van Noten
3. Fancy a shave?
Coat by Alexander McQueen, suit by Canali, shoes by John Varvatos
Also, it’s tumblr tuesday. I haven’t asked in a while but you could make my day and recommend me if you like.
All images from Vogue UK.
