Pretty much every teenager in America has read Catcher in the Rye, it’s a high school rite of passage thing. It’s my favorite book along with many other upper-middle-class white men I know. We seem to think alike. It’s the story of lost and wandering Holden Caulfield, an upper-middle-class (probably just plain upper, actually) white man who is battling with the trials of adulthood.
1. Hatin’ on the phonies
Coat by Billy Reid, henley by Dries van Noten, Jeans by Ralph Lauren, boots by Michael Bastian
2. Expelled from Pencey
Coat by Moschino, sweater by Michael Bastian, pants by Ralph Lauren, boots by N. Hoolywood
3. Catchin’ Phoebe
Coat by Burberry, sweater by Todd Snyder, pants by Trussardi, shoes by Louis Vuitton
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With the return of True Blood, everybody’s favorite pornographic program with a strong storyline, I was thinking about vampires. Of course, when anybody with half a brain and a weird reading list thinks of vampires, they think of Bram Stoker and the original tale. I’ve posted on Dracula before, his victims and his wives. But, Prada Fall 2012 in specific read very Nosferatu, so I figured it was worth revisiting. So here he is, the original blood sucking BAMF, Dracula.
1. I have 3 wives and I ain’t even Mormon!
Coat by Prada, suit by Canali, shoes by Dolce & Gabbana
2. This cape hides my wings, because sometimes I become a bat monster thing.
Cape by Dolce & Gabbana, shirt and jacket by Simon Spurr, pants and shoes by Burberry
3. I’m just sad because I lost my wife and impaled a lot of people at some point. Pity me, I’m a pitiful creature of darkness.
Coat and vest by Rag & Bone, shirt, tie, shoes and pants by Valentino
Hey, that rhymes. Ever read Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events? Well, Violet is one of the main characters and along with her brother and infant sister, she deals with, well, a lot of unfortunate events. There are leeches, evil troupes of actors, devilish counts and friendly deadly vipers. Yeah, it’s pretty much like working at a fashionable fashion magazine of fashions (badumpshhhhh, kidding). Violet’s main claim to fame is that she is an inventor and can quickly solve problems. Anyway, she’s got a Wednesday Addams meets Elizabeth Bennet vibe, which is cool—and spot on for the fall collections.
1. Well, this is a fucking unfortunate event we’re in.
Dress & tights by Marc Jacobs, coat by Marni, shoes by Lanvin
2. I can invent ANYTHING
Coat by Prabal Gurung, shirt by Tory Burch, pants by Proenza Schouler, boots by Gucci
3. I don’t want to be a child bride of Count Olaf
Coat by Rachel Comey, dress by Stella McCartney, shoes by Burberry Prorsum
I’ve posted Eloise once before but she’s a fun character so let’s revisit, shall we? She’s perhaps the most uptown of uptown girls having grown up at the Plaza Hotel and we all know what happens to uptown girls when they grow up—they shop like fiends. Without fail, every time I take a spin uptown to Barney’s, Bergdorfs or Saks, they’re out in full force decked in finery and weighed down by Amex Black cards. Now, that doesn’t make them bad people, actually most of them are quite friendly but you know Eloise would be quite similar. So here you go, Eloise, the uptown girl all grown up.
1. Tea at the Palm Court
Dress by Burberry Prorsum, cape by Karen Walker, shoes by Miu Miu
2. Some fancy Cotillion
Dress by Oscar de la Renta, shoes by Miu Miu (What? I like Miu Miu.)
3. Hitting up The Trifecta-Barneys, Bergdorfs and Saks
Romper by Tibi, shoes by Phillip Lim
What do you get the man that has everything? A wife, and after that, another! It’s everybody’s favorite royal heretic, King Henry VIII! You may remember him from such classes as World History I and AP European history. King Henry was most famous for his failed marriages, first to the Catholic Catherine of Aragon, then to Anne Boleyn, then to Jane Seymour, then to Anne of Cleves, then Catherine Howard and finally to Catherine Parr. Oh what craziness. You might ask, how could one have all of these different wives? Death helped a little bit, but Henry also famously broke from the Vatican and became head of the church. Basically, he could do whatever he wanted. Steez.
1. I’m currently on my 3rd wife
Coat by Alexis Mabille, sweater and shirt by Bottega Veneta, pants by Louis Vuitton, shoes by Paul Smith
2. On the hunt, for a wife
Coat by Corneliani, sweater and shirt by Rag & Bone, pants by Junya Watanabe, shoes by Thom Browne
3. To the tower with you, wife.
Coat by Burberry Prorsum, suit by Canali