Fair warning to you all, now that The Borgias has started on Showtime I’ll probably be rediscovering my love for Italian Renaissance history. I’ve done a few before, Catherine Medici is around here somewhere but anyway, I digress. The Borgia family is notorious for their corruption and power plays in Rome during the late 1400’s. The patriarch of the family famously bought his Papal throne at the Vatican and played his family accordingly. Of course, for any young woman in a powerful family was used as a token of alliance by marriage. Enter Lucrezia Borgia who married into another powerful Catholic family and then another and then another, all surrounded by a little mystery. There are very few surviving portraits of the Borgia heiress but she was allegedly quite beautiful, cunning and at one time as corrupt as the rest of her family. Although, as she became older and raised her children her image did clean up a bit. But I dare to say she was far from angelic. By today’s standards she’d be you know, totally normal. Not sure why I put her in all black but damn she fine.
1. “I don’t think my father, the guardian of the Catholic faith, would be too pleased to hear about this”
Dress by Alberta Feretti, shoes by Bottega Veneta
2. “You know who’s looking fine tonight?” “Cesare Borgia” “Okay, you did not just say that, he is your brother” “What? He’s a good kisser.”
Dress by Emilio Pucci, coat by Fendi, shoes by Lanvin
3. “She has two painted portraits and a silver carriage”
Dress by Versace, shoes by Gucci
Weird how relevant Mean Girls is to her. Ha.
Oh, she’s one nasty bitch that Mrs. Reed. As you’ll recall from your high school lit classes, Jane Eyre was Mrs. Reed’s niece and Mr. Reed charged his wife with raising her after his death. Being the god-fearing woman she was, Mrs. Reed obliged. She and her three children tormented poor Jane—throwing books at her, locking her in supposed haunted rooms and basically ruining her life. Eventually Mrs. Reed sent Jane to the Lowood school for some more torture with a religious twist. She was the HBIC of Gateshead and she sucks. When Jane grew older, they made some kind of peace…even after Mrs. Reed told Jane’s only family that she was dead. Good lord.
1. Um, Jane, I hate you.
Coat by Dries Van Noten, dress by Donna Karan, shoes by Bottega Veneta
2. Children, I hate Jane.
Dress by Chloe, coat by Celine, shoes by Fendi
3. I’m on an all carb diet, god Karen you are so stupid.
Coat by Marni, pants by Gucci, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo
What do you get the man that has everything? A wife, and after that, another! It’s everybody’s favorite royal heretic, King Henry VIII! You may remember him from such classes as World History I and AP European history. King Henry was most famous for his failed marriages, first to the Catholic Catherine of Aragon, then to Anne Boleyn, then to Jane Seymour, then to Anne of Cleves, then Catherine Howard and finally to Catherine Parr. Oh what craziness. You might ask, how could one have all of these different wives? Death helped a little bit, but Henry also famously broke from the Vatican and became head of the church. Basically, he could do whatever he wanted. Steez.
1. I’m currently on my 3rd wife
Coat by Alexis Mabille, sweater and shirt by Bottega Veneta, pants by Louis Vuitton, shoes by Paul Smith
2. On the hunt, for a wife
Coat by Corneliani, sweater and shirt by Rag & Bone, pants by Junya Watanabe, shoes by Thom Browne
3. To the tower with you, wife.
Coat by Burberry Prorsum, suit by Canali
I always like Bottega, although it will always be beyond my reach. So far, they have my favorite look from all of the Milan shows, NUMERO DOS above. Along with Burberry and Jil Sander, Bottega has picked up on the color vibe. I don’t know, I don’t really have much else to say…Bottega is always good and I want that coat…too bad it’s like more than $4000.00
All images from Vogue UK.