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VOLVO OCEAN RACE PRIZE GIVING IN 30 POINTS

The rambling city of Sao Paulo is long gone now and we’re in Itajai for the Volvo Ocean Race stopover. Our first stop was the prize giving at some swanky joint.

1. This place is a lot different than Sao Paulo, was told to dress fancy.

2. Oh so this is what they talk about when they talk about “beautiful Brazilian people.”

3. Where the food at?

4. Eating some fried things, delicious.

5. Everybody is lit up by the green lights. All of the lights.

6. Oh good, people are dancing, I never dance.

7. There’s the Puma Sailing Team, hello Puma Sailing Team.

8. These Caipirinhas got me in a dancing mood, how odd.

9. The bathrooms in this place are amazing, such powerful flush mechanisms here.

10. Where are these prizes? 

11. Bump into people for a while.

12. Get to flex my Spanish skills. “¿De dónde eres?” 

13. Call Simko a dick about 4 times.

14. Dance it out, ‘cuz this my song.

15. I wonder if Lana del Rey likes Brazil?

16. Brazilians aren’t messing around with them hemlines. 

17. We found a hidden buffet!

18. Toast a few times with Nord and Chung.

19. Still have seen no prizes.

20. Time to head home, lamebuckets.

21. Waiting for a cab.

22. The beach is really close.

23. Walk towards beach.

24. Everybody takes off clothes.

25. Run full speed into ocean waves.

26. Getting to know everybody a little better than I’d imagined.

27. Get your camera away from me.

28. Now really time to go home.

29. Repeatedly heard the phrase, “There’s nothing better than naked swimming.”

30. Shoes full of sand, worth it. 

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