Happy new year to you guys. Over my long, actually, very long break, I went and saw The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. It was certainly worth my $9.50 and if you’ve seen it you’ll understand what I mean when I say it affected me long after I left the theater. Sheesh. For those unfamiliar, the story is all about a journalist and a hacker/investigator who uncover a grizzly history of serial killings and seek revenge upon a .01 percenter. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend it and if you haven’t read it you probably should. While watching it, I thought Lisbeth would make a great character post and many people have requested her, so here you go. Of course, in reality (fiction reality?) Lisbeth probably wouldn’t care.
I’ve been remiss in posting these lately, blame my job, blame my dogs or whatever you want. It’s my blog and I do as I please. Here’s the latest in my Esquire adventures, Fred Astaire. I hope you like it, but am not going to lose sleep if you don’t.
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Me and a few other bloggers who write about the fashunz styled some holiday looks for Park & Bond. We ate lots of cheese while looking over the racks and of course I saw that Junya and flipped out. Check out the site for the rest of the looks and to shop all you want. Let’s get our apres ski on.
Last night, I went to Barneys New York to visit Gaga’s Workshop. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from the Mother Monster, but I knew it wasn’t going to be the typical scene of Madison and 60th. Here is a brief 30 point account of last night’s events.
The door is about to open, I’m definitely intrigued by the workshop. The doors open, drag queen statues everywhere talking at me.
Hey look! It’s Bryan wearing a onesie and a feathered coat and Wendy who I haven’t seen in a long time! Let’s hang out you guys.
Oh look, there’s lady Gaga’s face on a cookie! I’m going to eat you, girl.
(I really need a bathroom)
(There’s a bathroom on 6!)
Go upstairs and talk about life with security guard by the bathroom while waiting for elevator. He works the night shift and has to be there till 6:00 am, ouch.
Hey look it’s Leandra! Sweet man, we’re pals now because we did that thing together.
Let’s get a drink, is there beer?
No, no beer. I’ll take a gin and tonic then, delicious.
No alcohol inside the workshop, only in the party room, which I’ve now named “The Champagne Room” and you can’t have sex their either.
Oh, hello Blake Lively, let me try and lure you over here with this light-up bouncy ball. Why isn’t this working? I’ll just show your assistant. Assistant enjoys my bouncy ball skill.
This place has everything: stuffed puff little monsters, a confection ring with fingers on it, press on rock nails, studded Michael Jackson gloves, flygrip iphone cases, a tiara for a wedding dress, a candle that cries tears from its eye canals, leather bound children’s books and an arachnid mother-monster.
Seth Meyers asks, “what’s an arachnid mother-monster?”
Stefon answers, “it’s that thing where they turn Lady Gaga into a giant spider full of Christmas presents and they explode all over a department store.”
Moving on, Leandra and I bumped into Danny, he’s wearing the Versace for H&M overcoat, it’s pretty nice actually.
Brad Walsh from twitter said hi and introduced himself, IRL.
Whoa! There’s Lady Gaga and she’s wearing a crazy dress that Chanel had custom made for her.
She’s getting closer, now is my chance to post a photo to facebook and prove that yes, I do have a life. Fuck you, high school!
She poses with a fan, he is immediately cropped out of my picture.
Phone dies and I get really pissed about it.
Leandra tries on Michael Jackson gloves.
I tell Leandra that I don’t think they’re a wise purchase.
We go grab another drink, this place is crazy and we talk about stuff like thanksgiving and my house.
My stomach craves indulgence and my work is calling my name.
Everybody has come across a Veruca Salt in their lives. You know the type: bitchy, rich and ungrateful. Makes me mad just thinking about it. You’ll remember Veruca from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, she’s the greedy brat that always wants more. First she wants a golden ticket, then she wants a golden goose then she starts yammering on about some bean feast and 10,000 tons of ice cream. Of course, like all imbalanced children that visit Willie Wonka’s factory, she gets her just desserts AND I AIN’T TALKIN’ CHOCOLATE.
WHAT WOULD CLAUDIA THE FOREVER-CHILD-VAMPIRE WEAR?
So, knowing how big of a fan of Twilight I am, this post has been a long time coming. Like Bram Stoker’s vampires, Anne Rice’s are pretty badass. One of the the most interesting is Claudia. Unlike the rest of her kind, Claudia was made a vampire before she was an adult which leaves her to be a child for eternity. At first, that’s cool and her vampire fathers Lestat and Louis spoil her to no end. She ensnares her prey by being an angelic young child, often lost or in need. She murders at will and without care, ugh, kids. As decades wear on, Claudia becomes frustrated that she’ll never experience life as an adult. Her frustration turns to blind rage and she murders Lestat (but he don’t die!) and she and Louis flee to Europe to find more about their vampire roots. In Paris, the pair revel in culture and the arts before finding a troupe of vampires who pretend to be humans who pretend to be vampires to trick their prey. After it is revealed that Louis and Claudia killed Lestat, the theatrical vampires condemn Claudia to death by sunshine. I hate sunshine too. For those concerned for Louis, he lives, but is forever haunted by the death of Claudia. Try to keep in mind what a spoiled child with really good taste would wear…
1. Help me, I’m lost and have an undying bloodthirst
Dress by Christopher Kane, shoes by DVF
2. We’re moving to Paris because everybody else SUCKS
Dress by Chanel, shoes by Elie Saab
3. Oh great, now I’m getting burned alive, this is great, fantastic.
Dress by Oscar de la Renta, vest by Giambattista Valli, shoes by Nina Ricci
By now, you probably know that I’m a big fan of Jack Spade. I’d wager to say that most of my wardrobe is from there and although a hefty amount of that came from when I worked there, I’m still pretty loyal.
Another brand I’m loyal to? Coca-cola, because this is America and I am an American. True, I may fancy a Pepsi every now and then but you can’t have a burger without a Coke and you definitely can’t have a steak sandwich from La Esquina without one, blasphemy.
So today, when I heard the 2 had joined forces to celebrate Coca-Cola’s 125th anniversary, I was stoked. The pieces I’m most excited for? The hat, the tote, the iphone case and the t-shirt. Will I look like a Jack Spade x Coca-Cola evangelist? Yes. Do I care? Yes, because I love them both.
You can look at the rest of the collab on the newly redesigned (lookin’ good) Jack Spade website.
Princess Zelda is the HBIC of Hyrule. Together with Link, she must protect the kingdom from Ganon, the evil wizard/pig. This time, I decided to focus in on Zelda during The Ocarina of Time which remains to be one of my favorite video games to date. When we first meet Zelda she is young and becomes childhood friends with Link. Naturally, when we travel forward in time, she is older and wiser. She spends half of her adulthood disguised as Sheikh of the Sheikah tribe. When disguised, she helps guide Link in his quest to vanquish evil. Finally, she is revealed as the strong, wise and triforce wielding Princess Zelda. WOOO!!! NINTENDO!!!
1. Young Zelda
Dress by Sacai, top by Christopher Kane, shoes by Peter Pilotto
2. Ganon, if you mess with my man, I’m a be the one to bring it to ya
Everything Alexander McQueen
3. Sheikh of the Sheikah
Coat by Yigal Azrouel, dress by Alberta Feretti, shoes by Elie Tahari
Lydia Deets is one of my favorite apathetic characters ever. Having watched Beetlejuice many times in my childhood, I like to think that her general negative attitude toward everything rubbed off on me. I can only my children grow up with the same pessimistic outlook. Anyway, Lydia finds herself stuck in Connecticut with her frantic mother and simple father. Little do they know, their new home is where the ghosts of Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis live, isn’t that fun? Lydia forms a relationship with them and has various misadventures in the netherworld where she runs into Beetlejuice. I’m a little hazy on the details but there are sandworms and witch doctors and almost a wedding. Also, the cartoon version was great.
1. Bride of Beetlejuice
Dress by Prabal Gurung, vest by Maison Martin Margiela, shoes by Celine
2. I myself am strange and unusual
Dress by Commun, coat by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Carven
3. Shake, Shake, Shake Senora
Dress by Christian Dior, vest by Lanvin, shoes by Acne
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Everybody knows a Luna Lovegood type, they’re that one quirky friend you have that you sometimes wish would stop talking but at the same time, you never want them to shut up. Well, maybe that’s a little harsh, let’s leave it at your one quirky friend. Of course, when it comes to Harry Potter, there is much more to Luna than meets the eye and she becomes instrumental in bringing down Voldemort. She’s easily one of the most entertaining characters in the story. So give it up for LL.
1. Passing out Quibblers on the train
Dress by Versus, top by Preen, shoes by Carven
2. Look out for the Nargles
Dress by Ashish, jacket by Loewe, shoes by Thakoon
Dominique Francon is the heroine of The Fountainhead and seems to be the only woman in the world made for the protagonist and architect Howard Roark. Likewise, he seems to be the only man for her. You know, it’s funny, both Howard and Dominique have this contempt for people around them. They feel like nobody measures up to their own personal standards of design or of life. Yet somehow, they’re both lovable. Dominique is admirable because she realizes that in life she has nobody to answer to but herself and doesn’t have to worry about how others value or judge her. Once she picks that up, she finds total and utter happiness. She’s right you know, who gives a shit?
1. I’m the best ever
Shirt by Sass and Bide, pants by Gianfranco Ferre, shoes by Versus
2. You’re all crap
Jacket by Cushnie et Ochs, shirt by Preen, skirt by Band of Outsiders, shoes by Jonathan Saunders
Do you know before I became the world’s leading rhythmic gymnast, I really wanted to be an architect? The design of buildings always held an interest for me, from historical architecture, to Bauhaus, to post-modern crap. Howard Roark, the protagonist of The Fountainhead and I share this love. Like many people, he suffers for his work. Howard finds it difficult to work after he graduates. He could find easy success at the sacrifice of his own creativity. He knows how good of an architect he is and he spends his early career bouncing around, waiting for somebody to recognize his talent. His work life is plagued by negative press and a relationship with Dominique Francon. Eventually, Roark finds somebody to appreciate his work, but not without exploding some things. Hooray for explosions.
1. Are you kidding? I’m the most bomb-ass architect in town
Coat by E. Tautz, shirt and sweater by Michael Bastian, pants and shoes by Louis Vuitton
2. You people at The Banner are a bunch of muckraking bastards!
Coat by Michael Bastian, suit and shoes by Canali, shirt and tie by Corenliani
3. You disobeyed me, so I’m going to explode this ugly building. Explosions!
Coat by Simon Spurr, pants and shoes by Dolce & Gabbana
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Everybody is always talking about Cleopatra. Well, everybody that talks about Pharaohs and ancient Egyptian royals. Sure, C-pats was great, but I’m much more interested in Nefertiti. We all know her from that famous bust of hers-a long slender neck, a big crazy hat and beautiful face. She reigned with her husband, Pharaoh Akhenaten and the pair brought a religious revolution to Egypt to worship one god as opposed to the previous pantheon of gods. Very much of her life is still a mystery, but that’s what makes it fun. But yeah, I’m sure she was really concerned with like her clothes and crap.
1. I’m the Queen, don’t you forget it
Beaded top by Sass and Bide, dress by Mario Schwab, shoes by Suno
2. Look at me in my crazy desert dress
Dress by Elie Tahari, shoes by Etro
3. Dress by Cushnie et Ochs, shoes by Proenza Schouler
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I’ve seen this around a few times and tried it on today. It is nice and I want it. It’s definitely on the expensive side at $1200 and there’s no way I’ll be able to afford it but it would be great for all my urban hunting excursions in Nolita.
I don’t know where to begin with Daenerys Targaryen. I don’t even know where to begin with Game of Thrones. When we first meet DT, she’s young, weak and under the control of her punk-ass brother. After marrying Khal Drogo, king of the Dothraki, she becomes Khaleesi, queen of the Dothraki. This new role changes her and she transforms from a weak girl into a dragon-lady. Seriously, she gives birth to dragons. Also, her brother dies, hooray! Too bad though, her husband dies, boooooo. With the dragons at her side, she goes on to fight for her birthright to the throne of the seven kingdoms and all that jazz.
1. I’m the Khaleesi, do whatever I say and everything will be a-okay
As many of you know, The Great Gatsby is one of my favorite novels. I’ve styled the characters several times here and Daisy Buchanan is easily in my top posts. Last week at the Ralph Lauren show, I couldn’t help but think of the East Egg and West Egg gang. All the clues were there—detailing, feathers, drop-waists and lots of movement. If you’ve been a follower of Textbook for a while, you’ll know that my favorite collections get a lot of play each season. Let me say this, Ralph will get a lot of play. Good show.
I ditched the city for Connecticut this weekend and on the way to dinner my family started asking me what I thought Irene would wear if she was you know, not a hurricane. Right away, I played the Rodarte card and then started thinking some Prabal Gurung—sort of that Miss Havisham whirling mess type, ya know. Later on, Prabal Gurung actually tweeted to ask if his followers thought she’d be an all black type or color-blocking type. I figured if both my Dad and Prabal Gurung wanted to know, I could do a post on it. So here it is and it’s all 95 mph appropriate. Fine family fun for your hurricane tumbling.
1. I keep tornadoes in my handbag, I’ll mace you.
Dress by Rodarte, boots by Thakoon
2. Blowin’ errybody.
Dress by Prabal Gurung, tights and shoes by Anna Sui
3. Pshhhh my eye is collapsing, BFD.
Dress by Viktor & Rolf, tights by Prabal Gurung, boots by Lanvin
Hello Textbook people, I’m glad to be back, work has been crazy lately but hey, it pays my bills. Here we have Eleanor of Aquitane, basically the most bitchin’ badass woman of medieval times. Eleanor was a highly educated, strong willed and fiercely political. When she was 15, she became Queen of France and traveled to fight in the second crusade. Yup, she fought in the crusades, good for her. After the crusade, she divorced her husband and married King Henry of England and had a rather unhappy marriage. Eight kids later, the couple was estranged and Eleanor sort of ran her own show and set up a salon called “The Court of Love” where the brightest minds of the age discussed love, marriage and duty. One of her sons chose to rebel against her husband and her support found her in prison for 16 years but she was set free after Henry died. She’s also widely acknowledged to be one of the most beautiful women ever. Badass.
1. Queen of France
Coat by Celine, dress by Marc Jacobs, boots by Prada
2. I’m in the crusades, yo!
Cape by Jean Paul Gaultier, dress by Alexander McQueen, boots by Dries Van Noten
3. Oh great, I’m in prison
Coat by Vera Wang, dress by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Lanvin