One of the biggest annoyances about shopping in SoHo, or anywhere in the city for that matter, is when you have to go to the bathroom. Usually, I’m at least one cup of coffee deep and that urge comes like clockwork. Too much information? Well, perhaps you’ve never read the book Everybody Poops, we all do it so let’s help each other out here. Since I used to work in SoHo and live so close by, I’ve nailed down plenty of spots to help you out if you’re in a jam. Who knows, it may just save your life. P.S. Click through for the hi-res map.
1. Starbucks, West Broadway & Houston
Expect a wait because every tourist sees the Starbucks logo and thinks, “Yes, bathroom.”
2. The Apple Store, Greene & Prince
Immaculate facilities, rarely a line and a pretty well kept secret. There’s one in the 14th street store too.
3. The Mercer Hotel, Mercer & Prince
Only downside here is that you have to go down into the restaurant and pretend you know where you’re going. But when you gotta go, you’ll do just about anything.
4. The Crosby St. Hotel, Crosby between Spring & Prince
5. Starbucks, Spring & Crosby
Like the one on West Broadway & Houston there is always a line and this one is usually a lot longer. On the upside, it moves faster because there are 2 restrooms.
6. Bloomingdale’s, Crosby between Broome & Spring
You can enter on Broadway too, but if you have to pee the last place on earth you want to be is in a crowd on Broadway in SoHo. Pop right downstairs to the men’s floor, never a wait and the air conditioner is heavenly—BONUS.
7. Le Pain Quotidien, Grand between Greene & Mercer
Sometimes a wait and I’ve gotten the stink-eye for being a freeloader, but it’s a nice option when in need.
8. Starbucks, Broadway between Grand & Broome
Line city and listening to a barista brew up coffee and stuff doesn’t help…better off crossing the street to Bloomingdale’s.
9. Saturdays, Crosby between Grand & Broome
Saturdays has some of the better coffee in SoHo and plenty you’d want to buy if you’re into that whole surfer thing. After answering nature’s call, ponder your life in the garden in the back.
10. SoHo Grand Hotel, West Broadway between Canal & Grand
You’ll have to fight your way through the tourists checking in but up the stairs, through the lobby and you’re in the promised land.
11. Opening Cermony, Howard between Broadway & Crosby
The day I found out Opening Cermony had a bathroom, the skies parted and the angels sang. They’re sort of hidden just before the staircase going to that lofted space.
12. The Mondrian Hotel, Crosby between Howard & Grand
If you feel like going to the bathroom in a Dr. Seuss meets people who have way more money than you enviornment, this is the place!
Of course, this is by no means an exhaustive list but most of my go-tos are here and it’s not even the whole ‘hood. Got something to add? Leave it in the comments.
Hey look, a post. My apologies for the absence as of late, but then again I have no obligation to do this so apology revoked. Meh. Thanks for all the great suggestions the other day which included Carmen from the famous opera, Carmen. It’s a little bit complicated but let me give you the quick version. Carmen is a gypsy who works in a cigarette factory (DREAM JOB) and falls in love with Jose. Some craziness ensues after she stabs her coworker and they escape with some bandits. But, wouldn’t you know it, Carmen falls out of love with Jose and in love with another dude. Some time later, after some things happen, Jose pleads once more with Carmen to spend her life with him. She says no, and when she goes to check her tumblr he kills her. Oh, what a life. While we’re on the subject of Carmen, I highly suggest you listen to the famous Habanera…it’ll set your Wednesday off right.
1. I work in a cigarette factory, look at me!
Skirt by Bottega Veneta, shirt by Dries van Noten, shoes by Emilio Pucci
I’ve posted Eloise once before but she’s a fun character so let’s revisit, shall we? She’s perhaps the most uptown of uptown girls having grown up at the Plaza Hotel and we all know what happens to uptown girls when they grow up—they shop like fiends. Without fail, every time I take a spin uptown to Barney’s, Bergdorfs or Saks, they’re out in full force decked in finery and weighed down by Amex Black cards. Now, that doesn’t make them bad people, actually most of them are quite friendly but you know Eloise would be quite similar. So here you go, Eloise, the uptown girl all grown up.
1. Tea at the Palm Court
Dress by Burberry Prorsum, cape by Karen Walker, shoes by Miu Miu
2. Some fancy Cotillion
Dress by Oscar de la Renta, shoes by Miu Miu (What? I like Miu Miu.)
3. Hitting up The Trifecta-Barneys, Bergdorfs and Saks
Folk tales and Fairy tales aren’t what they used to be, I suppose we have Disney to thank for that. The original stories, as I’ve said time and time again, are for more entertaining. One of my favorites is the tale of Bluebeard. Bluebeard was an enormously wealthy man feared for his ugliness and blue beard and because his wives seemed to all mysteriously disappear. Intent on marrying again, he visited a neighbor to petition for one of their daughters to be his bride. The girls desist but after the younger sister agrees to attend an impressive banquet at his home, she marries him. Shortly after they’re married, Bluebeard leaves the castle on business (or something) and gives his new bride all the keys and instructs her to spend as she wishes, entertain as she likes and generally have a good time. Before heading out he tells her not to unlock a room in the dungeon with a certain key. Naturally, the girl can’t resist and with her sister is horrified to find the bloodied corpses of his former wives in the room. She drops the key in a pool of blood and in an oh-so-macbeth fashion, the stain will not come off the key. HORROR! HOMEGIRL IS GONNA GET TROLLED. When her husband suddenly returns and finds the tell tale key, he threatens to behead for her insolence but she bargains for time to pray before her death. The sisters lock themselves in the highest room of the tallest tower (as per usual) in an attempt to escape. Sidenote: what is it about the tallest tower that screams “freedom?” Moving on, just before Bluebeard murders the pair, their brothers come in and rescue them in heroic style and then they all live off Bluebeard’s money. So, the moral of the story is—don’t trust people with beards. Thanks, here’s the younger sister, bye.
1. Psh, I don’t wanna marry that guy…
Coat by Tsumori Chisato, shoes by Miu Miu
2. But, he put on a nice spread so I’ll just marry him
Dress by Temperley London, shoes by Alexander McQueen
3. This party seems like a perfect time to find a torture chamber
If you’ve been keeping up with my personal blog and my tweets then you probably understand that I have a deep love for The Eagles. How could you not? There’s so much to love—Hotel California, Heartache Tonight, Desperado, Lyin’ Eyes, Peaceful Easy Feeling and of course Witchy Woman or in Seinfeld talk Witchaaay Woman. Of course, all music is subjective and Witchy Woman is about everybody’s particular dream woman. My Witchy Woman is different from your Witchy Woman. Not to say that the above is mine, but you get the idea. For this post I went with a little more of a literal understanding of the song and went after a hexing vibe. Enjoy it. Don’t forget to listen to the song below.
1. Raven hair
Dress by Gucci, shoes by Emilio Pucci
2. Ruby lips
Cape by Lanvin, dress by Meadham Kirchoff, shoes and tights by Prabal Gurung
3. Sparks fly from her fingertipssss
Dress by Prabal Gurung, boots by Rodarte
Don’t mind the AWFUL music video below, enjoy the song…
So Textbook just hit 25,000 followers. I can’t thank you enough for your support over the past year and a half. There’s some exciting stuff coming in the next few weeks so stay tuned. Once I get the hang of my new job I’ll be able to post more often. Thanks again, you’re swell.
Fair warning to you all, now that The Borgias has started on Showtime I’ll probably be rediscovering my love for Italian Renaissance history. I’ve done a few before, Catherine Medici is around here somewhere but anyway, I digress. The Borgia family is notorious for their corruption and power plays in Rome during the late 1400’s. The patriarch of the family famously bought his Papal throne at the Vatican and played his family accordingly. Of course, for any young woman in a powerful family was used as a token of alliance by marriage. Enter Lucrezia Borgia who married into another powerful Catholic family and then another and then another, all surrounded by a little mystery. There are very few surviving portraits of the Borgia heiress but she was allegedly quite beautiful, cunning and at one time as corrupt as the rest of her family. Although, as she became older and raised her children her image did clean up a bit. But I dare to say she was far from angelic. By today’s standards she’d be you know, totally normal. Not sure why I put her in all black but damn she fine.
1. “I don’t think my father, the guardian of the Catholic faith, would be too pleased to hear about this”
Dress by Alberta Feretti, shoes by Bottega Veneta
2. “You know who’s looking fine tonight?” “Cesare Borgia” “Okay, you did not just say that, he is your brother” “What? He’s a good kisser.”
Dress by Emilio Pucci, coat by Fendi, shoes by Lanvin
3. “She has two painted portraits and a silver carriage”
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2. You have to princess leia's one is from star wars and the other is from sleeping beauty. The one from sleeping beauty should be named Princess Aurora.
I don't mean to criticize, I just come to this site so often, these mishaps are starting to annoy me.
1. They’re fixed.
2. This message is full of errors. I don’t mean to criticize.
Bella is perhaps the most heroic of all the characters I’ve posted before. She tempts fate, she dances with vampires and werewolves and manages to find some meaning for existence in the pacific northwest. I mean, how could you not be impressed? She’s just so strong and I remember when I read the books the first six times I thought, “Wow, I wish I could be that strong” but we all know I never will be. I’m just vampire food. Whatever, she’s way better than Hermione Granger and she could probably kick her ass. We all know Hermione is just a joke.
Dress by Mary Katrantzou, shoes by Valentino
Coat by Oscar de la Renta, dress by Miu Miu, shoes by Band of Outsiders
3. DAKOTA FANNING!!!!!
Jumpsuit by Tory Burch, coat by Prada, shoes by Giambattista Valli
Oh, she’s one nasty bitch that Mrs. Reed. As you’ll recall from your high school lit classes, Jane Eyre was Mrs. Reed’s niece and Mr. Reed charged his wife with raising her after his death. Being the god-fearing woman she was, Mrs. Reed obliged. She and her three children tormented poor Jane—throwing books at her, locking her in supposed haunted rooms and basically ruining her life. Eventually Mrs. Reed sent Jane to the Lowood school for some more torture with a religious twist. She was the HBIC of Gateshead and she sucks. When Jane grew older, they made some kind of peace…even after Mrs. Reed told Jane’s only family that she was dead. Good lord.
1. Um, Jane, I hate you.
Coat by Dries Van Noten, dress by Donna Karan, shoes by Bottega Veneta
2. Children, I hate Jane.
Dress by Chloe, coat by Celine, shoes by Fendi
3. I’m on an all carb diet, god Karen you are so stupid.
Coat by Marni, pants by Gucci, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo
Absolutely love everything you post. My boyfriend loves J.Crew, but on a college budget it's not so easy for him. Do you know of any online stores or stores in general that are similar to J.Crew but have a lower price range? Thank you very much, really appreciate it.
Ah, I had the same problem in college. I would try looking at ASOS. It’s not necessarily completely on brand with J.Crew but there would be some good options there as well.
Hey guys. Any ideas on who I should post for my next Fashionista.com guest post? Has to be a fashion industry personality, somebody we all know and think is awesome. Past entries are here: http://fashionista.com/?s=textbook.tumblr.com
What do you get the man that has everything? A wife, and after that, another! It’s everybody’s favorite royal heretic, King Henry VIII! You may remember him from such classes as World History I and AP European history. King Henry was most famous for his failed marriages, first to the Catholic Catherine of Aragon, then to Anne Boleyn, then to Jane Seymour, then to Anne of Cleves, then Catherine Howard and finally to Catherine Parr. Oh what craziness. You might ask, how could one have all of these different wives? Death helped a little bit, but Henry also famously broke from the Vatican and became head of the church. Basically, he could do whatever he wanted. Steez.
1. I’m currently on my 3rd wife
Coat by Alexis Mabille, sweater and shirt by Bottega Veneta, pants by Louis Vuitton, shoes by Paul Smith
2. On the hunt, for a wife
Coat by Corneliani, sweater and shirt by Rag & Bone, pants by Junya Watanabe, shoes by Thom Browne